What I should be doing

This post is about a painting I completed a couple of years ago now, although it doesn't feel that long ago! I was very excited at the time, it was my first completed portrait painting, of my gorgeous and cheeky pal Sally. Ultimately portrait painting is what I would really like to succeed at artistically, and this one is a good likeness and more importantly I feel captured her spirit. So why then have I not completed another one since?

'I can be angelic' 2011

Why do I put painting at the end of my list of priorities? Maybe because I think of it as a completely self indulgent activity? or the fear of how bad it could go? sheer laziness? how after working on something for hours or days and knowing its not great but a stepping stone, someone looks at it for a minute and points out the faults, which of course I can see, but its ten times more crushing when it's so quickly dismissed. To be fair that's mostly in my head, what I think people viewing on line are thinking, or can also be me the next day when with fresh eyes it looks even worse! Certainly I'm extremely hesitant to post anything on line that I'm not happy with, which is probably a block in itself.

really happy with achieving a likeness without falling into photo realism

I have more time available to me to paint currently than I have ever had before, and possibly will again until my official retirement, so what's it going to take to get me to consistently sit at the easel? I already rearranged my working area to one I thought would be more conducive, and it at least succeeded in stopping my desk being the dumping surface when I get in the door. Yet I haven't done a days painting since!

I am so frustrated with myself. When I was working I found that being enrolled in a regular evening class helped, as it was a commitment of the class time, plus 'homework'. I currently don't live a very routine life though, travelling with my husband on business, away for 185 nights last year, which is a great opportunity but hard to build routines around.

Perhaps there's an on line group of people I could join in place of a class, struggling with similar issues, but although I'm gaining some comfort about blogging I'm not a great one for getting involved with strangers on line, I quickly start to see the stereotype characters of a group; the bully, the time waster, the know it all, the self obsessed. At least in a real class room once you've identified them you can choose to physically remove yourself to the other side of the room, in a chat room there is no escape!

this was painted from a photo, but the position of the arms captures the sitters personality

Well this post has really been a brain dump, thinking out loud, perhaps getting all the excuses out in writing might help. I think I might also go and have this painting framed so I see it regularly, perhaps seeing Sally every day will be the inspiration I need?  Maybe for balance I should also put up one of my disasters, just where I can see it! 

I'd love to hear suggestions from others about how to work painting into my routine as a priority, as regularly as doing the washing!